Transcending Addiction

How to let go of destructive behaviors without willpower or force

If you want to transcend an addiction, you have to learn to value the state of NOT engaging in that behavior more than you value the feeling of doing it.

Example:

From ages 19-23, I was a pretty consistent weed smoker.

I probably smoked over 50% of the days in those 4 years — often writing, working out, or hopping on calls high.

Flash forward to today, and I have zero compulsion or desire to smoke.

I’ve been offered weed a few dozen times in the last few months, and I say no with zero internal debate or hesitation.

I’m not using willpower or discipline. I just genuinely don’t want to.

How did it change, and why?

My values changed, and my identity changed.

I began to value the feelings of sobriety, mental clarity, and groundedness more than I previously valued the feeling of heightened imagination.

I like being on top of things, sleeping well, thinking sharp, making sound long-term decisions, and having my memory functioning at peak capacity way more than I like being high.

On the identity level, I began to see myself as a CEO, a leader, a man, and a businessman more than a kid, a hippie, a spiritual seeker, and a creative (the old identity).

I still value those aspects of the old identity in my new self (evolution always transcends and includes previous stages), but I now hold a higher self-image than before, where weed no longer fits in my internal value system.

That is the state we want to get to when it comes to transcending vices and addictions:

Valuing a new state MORE than the state the drug, habit, or behavior gives us.

When you experience an upgrade in values and identity, engaging in misaligned behaviors becomes MORE PAINFUL than the temporary withdrawal of abstaining from the behavior.

Willpower and discipline will eventually run out, but a genuine internal identity shift in values can make the new behavior permanent and effortless.

When you actually enjoy NOT engaging in the destructive behavior more than you enjoy doing it, you are then free of the addiction.

So ask yourself these questions if you want to let go of an addiction or destructive behavior:

1) What self-image is leading me to engage in this behavior?

2) What new self-image do I want to step into, where this addiction would no longer be congruent with how I see myself?

3) What feeling state could I learn to value MORE than the feeling of engaging in this habit?

4) What role models, archetypes, or inspirational figures are aligned with my new self-image that I could draw on for inspiration as I make this change?

5) What mental or physical cue can I make to remind myself of my new self-image? A feeling in the body? A mudra? A vision board? A quote?

Take some time to answer these questions, and you will begin to move towards transcending this behavior as your awareness increases and your identity shifts.

“First realize you are sick, then you can move towards health.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao te Ching, Verse 71

Thanks for reading, and I hope this was helpful,

Jack