Becoming a Stronger Swimmer
Confronting the edge of fear and limitation
The other day I went for a swim with a friend.
But instead of just hanging near the shore, we decided to swim out to a rock formation a few hundred meters from the shore.
A few days before, a kid told me that if you were a strong swimmer, you could swim all the way out there and hang out on the rocks. I hadn’t considered swimming out there until he told me other people were doing it, but once he told me it was possible, I knew I was going to try.
I had never swum that far before. Maybe in a pool, but in a pool, I could always touch the ground or grab onto the side every 50 meters. This was different. When you’re swimming in the middle of the sea, there is nothing to grab onto.
I’m an adventurous guy, but I’m also a cautious guy. I like to push my edge, but I don’t like to test death. As we started paddling out and were about 100 meters from shore, I began to unexpectedly confront my mortality. Nothing was going wrong, but I realized the only thing standing between me living or drowning was whether I had enough stamina to make it to the rock.
There was a certain sense of aliveness and awe in this realization. I was confident I was going to make it, but I also had to be sharp and aware of every movement. I had no choice but to become incredibly present. There is something about being at the edge of something (a cliff, a life transition, your bank account, life or death) that snaps you into aliveness and presence like nothing else. The edge is where we feel most uncomfortable, but it is also where we feel most alive.
Finally, after maybe 10-15 minutes of swimming, we made it to the rock. Once we made it, I realized, for one, it wasn’t so bad, and two, I could have gone much further.
The way back was much more euphoric. I took my time. I took in the views of the mountains around me. I knew I could make it now. And because I’d pushed my edge, now I could do the same thing that was incredibly uncomfortable just 20 minutes ago with lightness, ease, and enjoyment.
The next day, I was finished with work and wanted to move my body and let some energy out. My instinct was to go swim back out to the rock. There was no fear anymore. It was no longer a new edge. I was choosing to do it for fun.
I was not scared anymore because I had already done it. My capacity, confidence, and abilities all increased. And now, my mind went to the possibility of swimming to the next rock formation, about another 200 meters beyond the initial rock.
Tony Robbins said the number one skill that determines whether you live your dream life or settle for what’s comfortable is “your ability to do uncomfortable things consistently.”
If I look back at the past few years, anything I’ve done that has resulted in some form of success, be it hosting retreats, writing online, solo-traveling, or doing coaching work, was at first scary and out of my comfort zone. But that is the exact reason the experience increased my capacity, my confidence, and my abilities, and allowed me to see the next possible step beyond what I thought was my previous limit.
I was incredibly nervous the first time I sent a newsletter, posted a tweet, gave a coaching call, ran a group cohort, solo traveled, and hosted a retreat, almost to the point where I did none of them. It’s not like these things were just natural to me or there was no fear. There was pretty substantial fear for every single one of them. But every time I confronted that edge, felt the fear, and moved forward anyway, I became a more embodied and capable version of myself, to the point where the thing that I once feared normalized, and become my baseline reality.
So, what is the thing you can do to push your edge and increase your capacity?
What is the thing you fear that you know will push you closer to your goals?
Is it getting out of bed 60 minutes earlier to work on the project you know will change your life? Is it going directly to the gym after work instead of going home, debating with yourself, and pushing it off until tomorrow again? Is it posting on social media, even though it’s cringe and uncomfortable, because you know doing so is the path to the connections, lifestyle, and business you want to create?
Think about this question for a moment. Once you have a clear answer, and begin moving towards your fear, realize this:
Once you do it once, the fear will go away.
Once you do it twice, the experience will normalize.
Once you do it three times, the experience will become your new baseline.
Once you do it four times, you will unlock the ability to think much, much bigger.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in the next article
~ Jack